So …You want to Retire…? From what? And… to do WHAT?

    Another Beach…?

and move to a Caribbean beach or in some countryside in Europe and maybe open your small bar, business that  (of course!) it will be very successful…bla bla bla….

Or…join the latest trend of movement of FIRE (Financial Independence. Retire Early)

SO… (did you notice how big was this so…?)

Why you didn’t retire yet?

You know…the kids, the mortgage, the family, the  <enter other excuses here>…”

Ok, let’s see why you didn’t do it yet and why you should change right now your approach on this for your mental sanity.

First and foremost…

you didn’t retire yet because you don’t really want it bad enough.

But…let’s take one additional crucial step…

Let’s go and find it….

You have to answer two questions first:

Do you want to retire from what…?

Let’s start with the first part

Retire from what?

Easy right? I am hearing you now from the screen…

You want to run away (sorry..retire)…from:

  • Your boring job
  • Your evil boss
  • A city you hate
  • Hours of commuting
  • Colleagues friendly like a bear
  • A cold and raining weather
  • Your answer

Ok, done…

Now the second part of the question…the most difficult

Retire to do what…?

I am hearing you less now….some weak and general statements like………

  • To golf more
  • To sleep more
  • To spend more time with my family
  • To relax
  • To read…write…
  • To play an instrument
  • Your answer

So…if the reasons above  are so strong to make you consider to quit your job and changing radically your life…why don’t you dedicate more time to them while you work…?

If playing golf is such a burning desire…why you are not more efficient with your time (e.g cutting internet/social media/TV time) to satisfy that burning desire?

Same for the rest…

If you are not spending time to do the things you think you like it’s only because there is not a burning desire behind them.

Instead you decided to waste your life watching a screen instead of living it

You just want to retire from something to…become lazy!

Wasting time in front a screen is your burning desire…

Let me repeat….

Wasting time in front a screen is your (only) burning desire…

Because you do it day in-day out for hours and hours and you are never bored doing that…

Indeed with the advent of the smart phones and tablets we are not bored anymore because we have anyhow always something to do…watching our phone!

Help me…!  What should I do  then?

Assess yourself
Shut down all the distractions and ask yourself what you really like
The goal here is to really understand your passion once you remove the screen time…(use phone app or other tools to track it)
You used to like golf, swimming, playing guitar, bla bla before the screens came in the picture… right?

Reignite again your passion
Start practice again what you use to love.
Set a schedule calendar for it and do it
Enroll in some tournament, competition, to set a measurable goal and a target.
It would be strange in the beginning but you will rediscover the desire…

Act on the big dream
Leaving in Europe opening a small business was your dream and 9-5 escape ?
Start planning it.
Plan a trip THIS YEAR, discover how to buy/rent a place over there…if that’s the place you really like…start thinking about the business.
You decided to invest your time reading this blog instead of watching TV or mindlessly browsing your phone…so you are committed to change, clever, energetic.
You can do it…no doubt about it…start now

That’s it.
Few points and actions.
We make it complicated but it’s not.
We just lost sight of what we are and what we love
Understand that the world out there wants every second of our attention to MONETIZE it…

Don’t fall in the trap, you are more clever than who wants to suck your money and life

Setting your goals (Oh no…there I go again!!!)

What about if I am telling you that setting goals is TOTALLY USELESS?

Yes…you read right…

Wait a second!

Everybody is shouting  to set your goals bla bla bla (not everyone actually..)

..and what about your spiral ????

Remember…?

Did you make the exercise?
Did you realize that you are exactly today what you really want to become (even if you don’t like it?)

Good

Here I  will explain you why setting goals is a total waste of time…and how to design your life better

Let’s start…

Why setting goals is useless

If you are like many people December 31 is setting goals day.

or better…

forget about the 90% of the goals not achieved the year just past and making another list of goals very likely identical to the one of the previous year or of the previous 5-10 years

One typical list might look like

1) Losing weight
2) Eat more vegetables
3) Exercising more
4) Walk more
5) Complain less
6) Change job
7) Cleaning more often the house
8) Making more money
9) Call more often your mother
10) Write a book
11) Start a blog
12) Learn how to play an instrument
13) etc etc

If you are an advanced goal setter you list can even look like this one:

1) Losing weigh: drop to XXXlb or YY Kg by end of the year
2) Eat vegetables at least 3 times a week
3) Exercising more: run/bike/swim at least 3 times a week for more than one hour
4) Walk XXXXX steps everyday
5) Stop complain
6) Change job by May 15 and move to a higher pay/job title one
7) Cleaning the whole house 2 times a week
8) Making XXXXX$ per year
9) Call your mother 3 times a week
10) Write a book about cooking by May 31
11) Start a blog by Jan 31
12) Learn how to play guitar good enough to play 1h a day every day
13) etc etc

Look at your goal list now…

If you are reading a blog on personal improvement like this one I am sure you have one

Are the same goals over and over in the list year after year?

You might also tried to break the yearly goal in monthly goal or weekly goal…maybe using the thousand of books and manual written out there that should have shown you the infallible method to reach your goals.

Maybe now you feel stupid or uncapable and every December 31 sadly you set the same goal being sure that this time will be the one you will achieve them! (and stopping following up on your goal on January 2!)

Don’t worry we all go throught that,,,you are not alone

The reason why you don’t reach what you call goals that you write on the list is that you don’t really…desperately…badly want them and you don’t feel the urgency to reach them.

Let me repeat it:

The reason why you don’t reach what you call goals that you write on the list is that you don’t really…desperately…badly want them and you don’t feel the urgency to reach them.

Period

Think about the things you wanted and achieved in life vs the one you think you want but not achieved yet.

What are the main differences?

The actions you took.

Plain, simple but so difficult to grasp.

Let’s go deeper

Why you achieved those things…? What’s so special with them?

Very likely because of social conditioning.

You got a diploma or a degree or a driver license because the society is pushing you to do so…there are schools for that  right?

Very likely you do some sport not to have a too devastated body.

What else?

What about the goal to play decent piano, golf, guitar?
To start that blog?

Not done yet right…? No time…you are too busy right?

What about the dream to create something for yourself? To be a small entrepreneur?

Nothing right?

is it more easy to stay in the cushy corporate world where your boss is telling you what to do, right?

Now you know the answers…maybe you can watch a funny but profound Ted talk on why we don’t reach our goals and…why we achieve something… (watch it…short and worth it!)

The bad news?

Everything is up to you
there is no blog, no book, no seminar that will make you take the first action

The action is in your head.

You can decide Right now if take the action or do something else, go back to work or browsing the web just to waste you time

Waste  your life or create  something spectacular…

It’s totally up to you…

One simple secret to decide your future

The society wants to make you believe you are not mortal.

Why?

To  keep you spending, consuming and avoid the big questions:

What’s my real purpose in life?
What I really want to be and have?

Billions of people wasted their life without having achieved anything they wanted.

Numbly they let other people designed their future, because they never know  what they wanted  for their future.

I will teach you a small but powerful secret to decide your future, to get back in control of your life.

 

Firstly: What do you want?

You need to know what you want and how to reach it….you need a compass and you governing the ship of your life.

That’s what you need

 

 

Without  compass and drive you are like a boat without anyone governing it…a boat that is going where the waves and currents (that very often are your family or bosses or society) are bringing it….eventually crashing against some rocks.

You don’t want to end up like that

You need a roadmap to be in the driver seat of your life even thought is more easy to seat in the passenger’s one and let someone else driving.

 

But driving your life like that

How to draw a roadmap?

I took this idea from a great book called The Pathfinder

Take a A4 piece of paper…design a spiral on it.

The starting point of the spiral is when you were born then when you went to school…5 years…ten years…the university…then when you start working..write what you did until today…and put a mark and label it NOW.

Your life

The ending point of the spiral is the day you will die (sorry for the bad news you will as well)….put an age….70…90…100..be realistic …write DEATH on it
Now write from the mark NOW to the mark DEATH what you expect to do in your life…write it into the details…visualize the targets…where you want to be…with whom…doing what…

Stop whatever you are doing and come back when this exercise is over…it has to take at least 30 minutes….it’s important…very likely the most important exercise of your life

Did you figure it out now…?

Finished?
Interesting…isn’t ?

Do you have still time? Very likely yes…

Or maybe not

How do you know?
What the spiral is telling you?
Is it a straight line with no changes or excitement to the grave?
A 9-5 until 65y, a gold watch as retirement gift, getting old, slow and then sick and die?
Or there is something exciting inside…a new job, place to live, kids, learning something, moving to some beaches in Ecuador or Europe and sipping cocktails until Ms. Death arrive (you can have your last cocktail with her actually).

What’s this roadmap telling you ?

I am telling you my secret.

When I first made this exercise several years ago I thought “whatever, let’s waste 30 min (actually i think i spent less than 10 minutes) of my life on this”, I completed and forgot it in some notebook.

One day, many years later (12-13 I guess) the same notebook ended up in my hands.

To my surprise most of the things I planned/envision really happened!

Not all of them but most.
Never sub estimate the power of visualization

You become what you think about, all day long

As Earl Nightingale used to say in the amazing The Strangest Secret

For better or for worst.

We become what we plan in our mind, and to me this happened also well before the Spiral exercise.

I was very clear not only on what i wanted but on ehat i will become of me
i had no doubts of what i will become that to me it was perfectly normal to picture me in my actual life
everything happened effortless, without any need of driving it

That’s why fake goals simply do not work.

Writing a Running a marathon goal on your 20XX list will never be accomplished if you are not really convinced of running a marathon is what you really want… but it’s on your list just because you think it must be there

Be the architect of your life

Your life from birth to death is already programmed and designed in your brain and the architect is you and only you.

Let me repeat:

Your life from birth to death is already programmed and designed in your brain and the architect is you and only you.

You can do anything you set your mind to, man (ok…this one I stole from Eminem… 🙂 )