“The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails.” – John Maxwell
Make a favor to yourself: stop complaining,
Right now and forever.
Ok so keep reading…
Complaining is the worst thing you can do to yourself.
If you spend most of your time complaining of something it means you need to change that something.
As simple as that, otherwise you are going nowhere.
Complaining is not changing a situation, it just aggravates it. This because you are putting focus on a negative situation and what you put focus on it expands.
As human beings we need to find solutions to problems, not problems to situations.
Finding the problem is easy, it’s the 5% of the job.
Everyone can step in a situation and find dozens of problem in it.
The value is to bring solutions to problems.
Complaining you are fat will not make you lose weight.
Eating less and moving more will.
Losers find problems to solutions and complain.
Winners find solutions to problems and prosper.
It is up to you to decide on which side you are.
Why people complains?
Most of the people seem stuck in their lives, jobs, marriage, situations, etc. and they complain all the time.
I came up with four main reasons:
- Fear of Change
- Sense of unworthiness
- Because it’s the Easy way
Some people prefer compromising (e.g. a job or partner with few/no satisfactions) rather than disappointing family members.
In some case the compromise can be acceptable (for example not taking a job abroad to stay close to family members).
But, most of the time it’s an excuse!
They use the Family card to complain and justify the reason why they don’t make enough money or why they are not courageous enough to bring some changes in their lives to live in their Dream location doing what they love.
Fear of change
Fear is the number one obstacle that prevents people from growing.
Think about it : almost every personal improvement goes through some degree of fear (learning how to swim, sky, or to change for a better job/place).
If you don’t win your fears you will not grow and stay in your Comfort (or fear) Zone.
But why do we fear so much and what?
Basically for two main reasons: not leaving a comfort situation and for reason number three: sense of unworthiness.
Sense of Unworthiness
Often we resist change because we don’t think we are able to achieve things in life (“to be unworthy”).
“I can’t ever do that job!”
“I cannot learn how to sky!”
“Only big bosses can get a VP position”
…you know what I mean.
So instead of trying the take big leap we decide to stay in our condition certain that this is the maximum we can achieve in life.
This behavior comes from of our society that inculcates a strong sense of modesty and negativity.
Having spend my life in different Countries and Continents I was able to experience the strong influence of the society on its people.
Usually the development of a Country depends upon to the degree of positivity and hope of the society.
Many people just don’t grow because they are negative, they don’t believe in themselves because they were thought in that way .
They spend their time complaining and their society is characterized by conflicts.
Conversely, where union and positive attitude are predominant, people are growing, intellectually and economically.
Complaining is easy
Again but why it looks like everyone around us is complaining?
Well, because people are (for some reason) negative and moreover because complaining is easy.
Yes, complaining is the easiest thing in the world.
Think about it, complaining can justify your failures in every situation, job, relationship… in everything.
So, is it easier to wake up and improve the situation (or simply accept it) or just complaining? Complaining it’s your boss, partner, friend, family, the weather, the economy, , etc. fault?
This is exactly why people spend their time complaining. It easy and justify our failures.
That’s why you are going to easily see people complaining about their boss while they take their thirty coffee break instead on working on improving the quality of their job.
If you don’t like a situation work to change it.
Don’t stop until it change.
And it usually works if you are really focus and convinced to change it.
When you don’t like a job or boss simply change it, it easier than you think. You of course will go through a slight disconformable period due to the changing process (disrupting your Comfort Zone) but you will find a solution to a problem.
I know many people are thinking now “You picture it too easy; it’s impossible to find another job”.
I can tell you it easier than you think; I made it several time through my life and now I am happy.
But you really need to face the situation and win the fear of change.
There are billions of jobs, partners, places and situations out there.
Better than what you are experiencing now.
Don’t just sit and complain about your situation stating it’s impossible to change and trying to show the world it’s not your fault for the failure.
We are the only one responsible for our success and failures.
For sure some external factors can influence some situations but only marginally and very temporary.
All the decisions we made are up of us; our jobs, partners, friends, health and wealth.
How to stop Complaining for good in 9 days
Make this exercise, I promise you it will be very illuminating.
Stop complaining for 9 days.
Not only externally but also internally, mentally.
Whenever you feel like complaining just stop, think about something else, tell yourself you will complain later, at the end of the 10 days.
I promise you: after the 10 days you will see the whole world from a different angle and start understanding the negative power of complaining.
And the great power you have inside of you, if you just want to use it.
Again, make a favor to yourself and the whole world stop complaining and aim for the excellence.
We need you.